~i am totally lost in feelings now~

sigh...todae early morning when i was just going to go sch, dad talks to me..he says tat this time round u die die also must pass my piano exam , else u reali have no where else to go..sigh..i am so stress now..just have to wait for tat slight nope for NUS cos i have yet to receive the rejection letter from them and maybe should have alittle bit of hope..but mood wise still haven gotton any better, still feel tat sad cos it seems tat i find it hard to accept this fact..the NTU ppl sae tat actually i no need to retain de cos i should have go SIM..ya as if i duno like tat..money is the problem now..