fri i stayed bac sch to type out my appeal form and ended up i spent like 3.5hrs sitting in front of the comp but yet didnt reali think of a solid and gd eassy of 50 words..i never spent such a long time for such tiny eassy, but this time round i reali give my best shot cos whether i can go in partly has to depend on this short and tiny eassy..i feel tat the 50 word limit is just too little, cant reali convey wat i wish to convey to the person too..so the point is to write straight to the point and dun add rubbish and crap in it..so i went online asking people for opinions of how should i go abt writing.they told me tat sincerity is veri impt, but how should i bring across tat sincerity in the eassy? it seems reali difficult for me and i sat there pondering abt how should i write with an honest and open heart.at the same time, i was talking to ch abt how are things going in our lifes and all those.
sat's morning my mum and dad kept bothering me with the appeal form and they want me to send the appeal form as soon as possible but i told them tat i need ppl to edit it for me before sending mah, else my english is not up to standard.so i got fed up with my dad so he just dun listens to me and i am just pissed cos i am feeling veri terrible liao and u ppl keep creating problems for me..then dad sae tat my eassy is typical way of writing so he sae tat i shouldnt send my draft, so he wrote a draft in chinese and i translate it in english and its sucks lah..i spend so much time looking for chime words in the dictionary and after the translatioin everything just seems weird la..it ended up to be like a comical eassy rather than a serious and sincere eassy.so eventually my dad got my ex tutor to help me with the eassy and yes she is a teacher now so naturally her english is good and when she sent me the eassy i was shocked by the words she use cos its obvious tat i cant wrote this kind of gd eassy and its obvious tat my style of writing does not belong to tat..anyway she email me lots of things other than the eassy, in fact i know tat she is quite concern abt me cos she knows tat its hard to communicate with my parents considering tat they are traditional ppl and they dun listen to me..she knows tat i am in a fixed position now as to where should i head to..she saes tat though its easy to sae tat there are actually other path available but eventually its still up to me whether i wan to continue on or not..and yes it is not easy and many at times i just try to avoid thinking abt this issue becos the moment i think abt it then i will get veri upset and confused and lost..though its not right to avoid the issue cos anyway its a matter of time tat i need to decide on a stand, but somehow for the time being i am just going through life day by day without any future plans of wat i wan to do..
then later in the afternoon went for piano lesson and the session became into a counselling session instead of a piano lesson..if my mum knows tat she is going to scream at me cos it wasted $70 plus just to talk during the lesson..many of my teacher's students can go uni but i cant..hai~so she asked me wat i want to do if i cant get in? i told her i duno..then she asked again "then wat do u like?" i also gave her the same ans.."i also duno.." it seems tat i also have no idea of wat i want in future and everything seems so vauge to me..its also seems to me tat i dun even understand myself then how should i expect ppl to understand me rite? she told me tat i shouldnt be the way i am now cos i am no longer young le and i am reaching the age to marry in 7 yrs time and ur parents cant take care of u forever, so its time tat u need to think abt wat u wan..i reali did thought abt it but somehow couldnt come out with an ans..maybe i am just a useless fellow..she feels tat staying on isnt a way out too cos i cant guarantee tat i can do well this yr..so her suggesstion is to go poly and she feels tat i shouldnt follow ppl in the sense tat now all my friends are going uni, but i shouldnt go uni just for the sake of going in, instead i should do something i like..
sun afternoon was busy retyping the final draft for the assy again.after which maril call to talk to me cos terence told her to comfort me..oh man, i was so touched when i knew tat cos i didnt know abt tat..i was just being insensitive tat i thought tat he is ok but somehow maril told me tat actually he is not ok..maybe i just like to see things from the surface tat's why neglected his feelings..afterwhich received a msg from yi hui cos she sae tat tse hao wanted a dinner on wed nite, asking are we guys free or not..hmm..i duno if should i go or not cos mood still haven feel better and moreover it seems to be like a celebration but somehow i dun belong there cos i also cant go in uni wat..aiya duno lah, i shall see how first..this week have quite a no of programms, fri going out with my ex jc friends, wed nite still deciding..
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