~the letter from SMU~

yesterday just received the confirmation letter from SMU that i am not enlisted to study in their sch...actually before i apply for SMU, i knew all along tat i confirm canot get in, just tat i apply for the sake tat i want to console myself tat at least i did apply for all 3 colleages..so i am not disappointed at all for the outcome..afterall i knew tat SMU is a sch tat is veri hard to enter..u need to have the brains and plus u reali need to be veri gd in speaking especially in interviews..all these basic requirements, i canot even meet up to lah..yesterday i also had a good time watching tv shows at home during the night cos my parents are not around, so i can do watever i like..it was so shiok man, i watched tv continuously for 4 hrs without stopping..its reali been a long time since i watch tv continuously for so many hours, feeling is just reali great! but bad part is tat i never do my homework at all..but it reali shows tat i am one who have no discipline..i need ppl to drive me to study, else, i will be reali distracted or either i will nuah like mad..
todae my tutor ask me again, so how??still coping well?? then i sae, ya...then she started mentioning abt my application again..she asked:" so how? if reali canot get in then how? i asked all the teachers and they advise u to stay on cos anyway onli left half a yr already, it will be quite fast and moreover wat u want to do if u dun continue, if u got something to do in mind, then u continue to pursue it, else i believe tat u will be doing nothing.."aiya i also duno lah..i reali dun like fighting a battle when i dun have the confidence of doing well and moreover tat gp is hard to pass also..think asking me to retake gp paper also will fail too again..i am just like those ppl who canot pass chinese cos their chinese are veri lousy..no matter how many times they retake chinese, it will still be hard to pass chinese..i am those ppl tat falls into this region..my friend also came bac sch to visit the teachers and she is going towwards to yr 2 already and i haven even started going into uni..oh man, tat is real pathetic..i told my teacher tat i am one who canot study, or either i am just bad in studying..i feel tat becos afterall i have been studying the jc course for 3 yrs and i dun see any improvement in grades at all, so u will start questioning yourself tat are u reali the type tat have the brains to study??though ppl always sae tat the process of how u get to a place doesnt matter, but i feel tat after so many yrs, u will reali feel tired of such life liao..seriously i never feel tat when i was young cos all along, i am quite gd in my studies til sec 3 when my grades started to drop reali much..anyway i believe tat this 2 weeks i will get the results from NUS and NTU le..just pray hard tat i still can go in cos my friend sae tat maybe i should feel happy tat at least u still haven receive the rejection letter, maybe it does shows tat u still have some chance.. so now have to wait patiently..i duno tat if calling u up for interview is it a gd or bad thing cos so far, haven even received a phone call from either uni, and i think tat my course tat i apply for dun reali need interview, cos i dun choose in first yr and i will choose in the sec yr..