Tuesday, May 22, 2007

~should i just resign myself to fate??~

yesterday mum called me during the afternoon..this is quite unusual of me tat i will pick up her phone call cos i know tat this week will be a crucial week for me..so i picked up and she told me tat one of my friend called me but my hp was switched off so she couldnt contact me so she call my house instead..but my mum said tat she claims to be my friend and the way she talks to my mum is just reali rude la, so my mum was suspecting tat she is not my friend and i also think so cos usually not much ppl will know my house no and i dun have such rude friends like wat my mum describe her as..then she said tat this has given her an instinct to call NTU to ask abt the posting and true enough tat her sixth sense is accurate tat the results are out..she told me in a upset voice tat i am not accepted for uni..the moment i heard this, i started tearing though my heart knew along tat my chances of going in are just reali little..i just couldnt accept the fact tat i need to continue my 4th yr jc in order to get an acceptable grades to go in uni..both my mum and my dad are just reali disappointed and upset over the posting results, i am neither happy over, in fact i was reali upset tat for the rest of yesterday i was reali in a dazzed and i dun feel like talking to anyone abt this except yk..the friends ask me why am i so blur but i denied tat i am not blur..neither do i wish to mention to them tat the uni never accept me cos i am reali too sad to mention abt this..even though yesterday CT's period was interesting and nice cos they invitied the SAF "music society" to sing for us and all the gers in my class are so excited over the guys cos they are quite cute and shuai, but this does not cheer me up either..maybe i am just too upset over the posting until nothing could reali cheer me up..my dad told his friend over the phone yesterday tat all these 20yrs have done down the drain..hai~~~when i heard tat i started crying cos i reali feel bad for letting him down..mum was feeling reali snappy cos she also duno wat to do now also..she just kept saying me the whole nite yesterday tat" given the situation now and u still dun cherish urself and make sure u do well for ur piano, otherwise u will just be a totally useless person liao..wa lao i was damn angry lah cos i am not feeling gd either and she keep fann me..i also dun wish to turn out like this too wat, u think i am veri happy over not going into uni meh???

seriously i believe tat NUS will accept me are just reali reali low, so should i resign myself to fate and swallow my pride and continue with my 4th yr jc or should i just leave sch, i guess the ans is obvious becos i am left with no choice now..sigh..i know tat even if i appeal it will just be 0.000001% and i reali regretted for not doing well in maths, otherwise i will not be short for a grade to go into uni and becos of this i have to made this choice..seriously i need time to get over this first becos i am reali deeply upset over this and i reali cant accept this fact as a ger tat i need to stay 4 yrs in jc..most of retainees who dun do well they will just go private uni but for me i know i cant..seriously my life is reali full of obstacles ever since i come jc, i duno if am i reali tat unlucky or wat, tat i always have to encounter tough obstacles..i am reali tired already and my mind are reali exhausted now...i guess i reali need a break now..

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