~ok i must admit tat my heart has been moved by him~

yesterday i was still bothering over the interview issue cos i reali want to know where i have gone wrong cos i never knew where i went wrong and like tat i can never know my mistake.recalling wat that manager said, he said something like "wah, u have so many jobs, looks like u are quite experience."actually i am just being honest in my resume wat, but it seems to me tat one should never be tat honest after tat manager said tat to me, cos eventually u will be the disadvantage one.interview is all abt bullshitting and telling the interviewer wat u are capable of and letting him or her being impressed with u..well, if u cant do tat, then too bad then..
kay yesterday nite (sat), i was pretty sian coping at home doing nothing other than watching tv, which i usually does, so i decided to go to expo to shop for some things since metro is on sale mah.kay, as usual i like to dress until veri lam nuah cos i too lazy to dress nicely mah and i have this mentality tat no one will go there since its so far and out of place, so possibility of bumping into anyone is just veri low.but who knows i am so unlucky tat i reali bump into someone tat i know!! and worst still its a guy..and he kept looking at my feet for duno wat reason and i reali feel like asking him but didnt dare..i wonder is it becos i wore slippers and it looks reali ugly??haha..i duno too, this have to ask him..and one thing tat is jialat is tat i kept shaking my leg unknowningly when i didnt know tat he is already looking at me..yes, my image is all ruined..imagine a ger keep shaking her leg cos it has became a bad habit, how bad does her image becomes? ok after tat we took the same train since we are going the same direction and initally wanted to go home de but it seems tat time is still early so i wanted to go outram to window shop for a bag..yup, i was pretty shocked when he asked me this :" do u mind if i accompany u to buy wat u wan?? cos i got nothing to do at home either even if i go home now." haha, can i say " yes i mind.." aiya but eventually i didnt lah cos i didnt dare to be so bad..but i tried saying something like "erm, i want to buy girl's stuff leh, u sure u wan to follow me??" apparently he didnt get the hint, so eventually he still follow me.seriously i find it veri uneasy with a guy tagging along with me when the shops tat i patronized are all selling female stuff and no guys stuff at all.and it seems to me tat he doesnt mind at all..duno why i just find weird and awardward shopping with him, but for some guys still alright and ok leh.at least the pei seh level not tat high.eventually i cant tahan anymore so i said aiya never mind then, we go eat supper ba...and we reali walked the whole round of chinatown and yet didnt manage to find anything to eat cos maybe we are too engrossed in talking le and didnt reali pay much attention to the food tat we wan to eat..eventually we decide to stop at mac to eat ice cream..-diao- right? yeah sat at mac there to talk abt ppl around us and how are things going in life for us. yup, spending tat 2.5hrs night with him was quite a nice and sweet one..haha, i must admit tat he is the 2nd di di tat has changed my opinion of younger guys and somehow touched my heart slightly.ok, this is not going to last cos such crush are usually meant for dreams, after which have to return to reality.tat night i must admit tat i reali smiled alot after looking at his msg and its been a long time since i last smile at msges ever since he left.
kay todae went to east coast park to cycle cos its been a long time since i went there to cycle..actually i reali felt disppointed today cos the 4 of us rarely gets together and apparently we never reali have a chance to meet up.1 of them didnt turn up and the other one was 5.5hrs late.seriously i have no idea how can a person be late by so many hours??ok,so the 2 of us as usual cycle first loh, wat to do since we are already there.yup rental was reali cheap cos its 6 bucks for 2 hrs.but later butt was feeling reali painful since we didnt cycle for so long le.i did get tanner todae and kana sunburn too cos i was under the sun for too long and moreover cycling during the noon sure will kana sun burn de loh..yup, saw uhan too cos he called out for me but i didnt see him intially.after which proceeded to window shopping at bugis again.hai~sian.fri onwards i am going to be jobless le..i better start finding a job else i cant feed myself le..

~hai cock up in the interview again !~

thur went for the interview at raffles place. the interviewer is a man, so i was kinda shocked cos initally i thought it was a female cos i was asked to look for ms XXX, but it turn out to be a man.anyway he was quite friendly lah, and he knew tat i am quite nervous, so he asked me to relax..yup so i crap abt wat i did and talk more abt myself.this time round apprently i could talk more when previously the interview at cycle and carriage was totally speechless cos i didnt expect the interview to be conducted like tat.now i realised tat basically they asked the same type of questions de..usually they will leave u with open ended qns.after which u will have to elabrate urself.well, he said tat the pict in the resume dun look like me at all..so i said tat becos tat one got make up mah..then he asked why didnt u make up today and this is working like.so i said i CANT WAKE UP..oh gosh this sentence must has minus alot of marks..oh shit tat shouldnt be said, well, its has been said so cant be help.although i wasnt reali tat keen to have this job but i was feeling reali emo yesterday cos i always cock up for interview de and somehow it has made me demoralised le..yes and not to mention tat yesterday i was reali furious with my collegues cos they cant be reasoned de man..they always thought tat they are right since they have work there so long and i onli work there for 1 month..but who care lah, next fri onwards i need not have to see their face anymore.and one thing i was super angry with them when they said tat they decide to hire other ppl when i have already found my friend to take over my place and everything has already been said already and now last min have to tell him tat the company dun wan him le..wat the hell, i reali duno how should i tell him cos its like making someone happy for a moment and making disappointed the next moment.yes, i experience b4 so i know the feeling..hai~currently looking for job but it seems tat its hard to find even with agencies helping me find.well, all the best to me ba.

~job interview~

tml i will be going for a job interview at raffles..pay kinda not bad but duno if i can make it through the interview or not.so decided to do some research on what kind of qns they will ask.but seriously working there will confirm be a different environment from where i work now.the jialat thing is u have to wear office attire and its kinda sian for me cos i am lazy to dress up early in the morning, when i could use tat extra time to sleep more.seriously today i receive lots of call from those agency companies the moment i sent out my resumes online.the jobs tat they offer are not bad for some, so just have to wait for reply to see if they want to hire me.but working in raffles is kinda complicated, especially if u will meet different kind of ppl over there.but i do heard tat guys working in raffles are mostly all hunks and gers are mainly chio bu..hopefully the interview goes well cos i gave up my half way just for this interview, which means tat my pay will be cut again cos i take leave.

~christmas celebration~

christmas eve was surpossed to be half day for most of the working ppl, but my company dun have such previlege..reason they gave was "our boss is not a christian and he see no point in celebrating it, so we dun have half day leave.."so when i heard this, i was reali sian lah cos ppl are in holiday mood but we still have to work..come to think of it, for part timers like us, we are paid by hourly basis, if company decides to have half day, then my pay would also be deducted..aiya i think such system also benefit those full timers ba, as they are paid on a monthly basis..saying of tat i recall something regarding the pay thingy..last week i saw everyone's salary which should be confidenal cos no one will know your collegues pay unless the accountant who is in charge of tablating ur pay..i think my supervisor trust tat i wont show anyone those pay sheets cos she asked me to keep it for her and i was told not to show it to anyone..ya, maybe she feels tat i mean no harm to anyone, anyway i also not so bo liao to compare pay when all of them have work for so long over there when i am just quite new in the company..
yeah talking abt christmas eve, i went out with my ex j1 classmates cum birthday celebration for wee ping..i think somehow this gathering was quite enjoyable one especially when 2 unknown guys which i duno pops up in this gathering..i find them quite humorous and joker especially the way they talk..and the climax part for me on tat day was i reali receive a "Lucky" present from joey when he split out the coke suddenly on my face and clothes..lucky it wasnt tat much but he was kinda guilty for doing tat..haha, i think he was going to cough out tat moment but so unlucky tat he was drinking at tat moment so splitted everything on me.yup, first we went to an indonesian restaurant at paragon to have dinner..food wise is quite nice, just tat not spicy enough, if more spices were to be added then tat will be gd..followed by tat, we have gifts exchange.haha, i have gotton a movie cd (the musical high sch 2)..yeah was kinda disppointed cos i hope to receive more practical gifts which at least i could use..seriously i dun reali like receving cds as present, neither do i want to give cds for anyone cos i find it impractical.after which went around to take photos, but the crowd was seriously so bad tat u can hardly move around freely.yes, its tat jialat to the extent tat police has to be around to control the crowd.and as usual some ppl will usually get pissed out when they cant get out of the crowd and start scolding vulgarities aloud..yeah, this time i experienced it again.and we reali had a hard time escaping those bo liao ppl spraying foam on u..yes, one of my guy friend kana tat and he was so furious tat he started to scold vulgarities right on his face cos he didnt offended him and yet he sprayed on his clothes and face..yes, if i were in his shoes, i will also be damn angry..tat night reach home kinda late and it was after midnight..
hai~tml got work again.wat a boring day and rountine.yes 4 jan onwards, i will be free from this company..

~the wedding dinner~

last thur went out with tanu and wee ping since it was a public holiday..its been ages since we last seen each other.yup, went to the douby daut swenens there to eat..apparently the food over there doesnt taste especially nice to eat despite it is a restaurant..yeah, somehow i felt cheated for my money cos food not only not veri nice and also service wise is super damn slow..kay, after eating when to cathy there to eat ben and jerry..initally wanted to eat de, but somehow something props up, so have to see them eat..i think the ambience over there are quite gd ah..there are cushions for u to hug and i think this could be a nice place for couples or friends to chill out with..yup, i think i am in luv with this place cos it just give me tat cosy feeling..after which have to rush home to attend a wedding dinner on behalf of my mum cos she last min dun wan to go..damn i hate this cos i have to rush in dressing up and everything..and yes i hardly put any make up for tat wedding cos i am quite late by the time i reach home to change into my wedding attire..basically the wedding was kinda sian to me cos i am the onli youngster in that table..the rest are all eldery (mainly fifty and sixty yrs old)..tat whole table tat i am sitted in are all doctors and all of them are my dad friend..apparently i have to act gentle in my movements cos all of them are "high class"ppl so cant be tat rough like usually wat i am..groom tat day was reali veri shuai..bride was just so so to me..the wedding ceremony was quite an enjoyable one esp the video clips..the groom was "punished" in the sense tat he had to wear a silver undergarment over his pants before he can step into the bride's house to pick her up..basically i am envy of this two couples cos the groom was a SAF sholarship holder whereas the bride is a doctor..both of them are just so smart, so i think they kids should be veri smart in future..haha..and to me, i was veri shocked when i heard tat the groom was just 3 or 4 yrs older than me and the bride was somewhere near 25 to 26 yrs old..i think nowadays jie di lian veri common nowadays, but i cant reali accept such things..haha..duno why also..
sat went to a church gathering cos was influence by yh to go there..yeah, as usual i tend to switch off during the preaching part..singing wise, i think this church is not as gd as city harvest..i think i would prefer city harvest more..this time round, the ppl tat attended this church gathering are all youngsters..apparently there is no adults at all..sometimes i reali wonder how come nowadays these young kids got so much time to attend such church gathering every week when i thought tat weekends should be quite busy with studies?? i enjoy watching ppl pray cos the expressions seems reali too obessed..yeah, sometimes i am abit shocked for their expressions either..tat nite came bac quarreling with my mum again..damn, why is she keep finding fault with me for no reason..everyone has a tolerance level and i have enough of her nonense le, so in a fit of anger i fought bac..eventually we got into a fight and somehow i lose in the end cos i was hurt in my forehead by tat throw of rubber shoes on my forehead..imagine someone throwing a super hard rubber shoes on ur forehead and after which how will be feel?? yes, my head feel reali super pain, thank god there is no bruise, else it will look super ugly with tat big bum..sometimes i reali feel like leaving this home for heaven sake, cos i cant reali tolerate staying with her..hai~ even i cant get along with her, let alone our future gf and bf..
today went to bugis since i was quite free and wanted to do some shopping..yup, crowd was super heavy since it was weekend..i was surprised by singaporeans as in the way they spend their money cos it seems tat they are filthy rich cos they buy things like no body business..seriously i think the clothes there quite cheap lah just tat there are reali too much stores le until i duno wat to buy..
after next week i will quit my job le..something to be happy abt cos i haven been resting well ever since i work..i wonder wat shall i take up as my next job..hmm...
todae also received a christmas gift and card from a friend..though it was something not expensive but i was reali touched when i saw tat gift cos its hand made and tat hp pouch has my name sewn on it..ya, i think it looks quite cool ah and i think his sewing skills reali not bad considering he is a guy..i think my sewing skills are worst off than him lah..yeah, i think those beads not easy to sew ba..haha..anyway thanks tat day little present..
tml is christmas eve, and i am going to celebrate with wee ping they all..yeah, i duno wat to give too for gifts exchange so i decided to wrap a "to me you" bear..tat bear not cheap man, though its so small in size..hopefully tml events will be a nice one..

~i am kinda crazy over him lately~

oh man, recently duno why i am so crazy over xiao zhu..haha..initally wanted to go his autograph sessions de on sat but eventually i didnt cos something crops up.so onli has the chance to watch him at the star awards which was held on sun..yes, he is reali damn shuai and i was memerised by his dance and smile..this week going to spend lots of money le..haha, going broke reali soon..thinking bac, i think last week was kind sway..i fell from a bus and seriously its damn malu especially the pose tat i fall was damn awardward..next sat i didnt realised tat i am wearing a torn pants (home clothes) when i went out to buy things nearby my house..apparently it is also damn malu, hai~ i think those road side ppl must have seen my big hole in the pants..
yesterday i also received a call from someone whom i find veri surprising cos he never called me before..i reali wonder wat is it cos tat time i didnt pick up the call cos i didnt hear it..

~upset for his departure.~

recently i decided to tell my supervisor tat i am quitting soon..though i promise her tat i will stay til feb like tat, but i guess i reali want to quit le cos i reali cant take the work load..as a results, i always get veri tired when i reach home and neck always feel painfully when i dun get proper rest..but she did requested me if can i stay on longer and not leave cos for the time being, she cant find anyone to replace me..hai~seriously i also duno how lah cos i reali feel guilty for leaving just like tat and breaking my promise..but my question is where can i find someone to replace me?? all my friends do not live near tat area also and its not veri conveinent to get there too..so its kind of jialat lah..hai~and last fri i was so stressed up tat i thought i couldnt finish my work on time cos i got few hundreds letters to be send out and checked carefully for errors before they could be sent out, else, if u send it wrongly, the boss will surely reprimand u cos all the things tat we are sending are confidenal..all my collegues thought tat i couldnt finish and when i can manage to finish, they are kind of surprised and shocked..actually for now, i have got use to this company de..actually i am starting to click better with them le..just tat one thing i dun like abt this company is tat they always speak hokkien ah..no english at all..
few days bac, me and my mum kept quarrelling and i reali cant tahan her cos she kept finding fault with me for no reason..damnn,i reali hate to stay in this house..if not for my dad, this family would have already been broken up..maybe i will just leave this home and go out and survive on my own..but saying is easy but doing it is another thing..where do i find money to feed myself? tat pathetic pay is surely not enough..hai~
my brother has just leave for taiwan today at noon..somehow i cried when he reali leave this time..duno why also..i thought i am always cold blooded all along de..apprently its seems tat i am not..mum also did cry though she tell my brother tat she will not cry if he were to leave..anyway hopefully things will be ok for him over there..for now there will be no one to snatch computer and tv shows for me..sian have to start work again tml, this rountine seems never ending..

~i am kinda stress over work lately.~

i am lately going crazy soon over work..this is something tat i am experiencing first time considering this job is not easy to deal with, especially when i am given so much work to do compared to the previous job when i could just "shake leg" and just received the same amount of pay.. duno why am i toturing myself man, when i could just tell the boss tat i wan to quit just as one of my friend is encouraging me to quit cos he felt tat its not practical to work so far..hmm..i shall see how it goes cos i also canot tahan the work load man..i have to work from morning til knock off without much resting...who can tahan such job man..and worst still i think the long hours made my neck reali painful especially when i have to constantly bend my head down to do my work..i think this job is not worth staying on if my health were to be sacrificed..if not for my friend's mum, i would have confirm quitted tat current job of mine despite onli working for a few weeks..i would rather not earn their money man..

now i finally understood wat is work stress..my collegue being pregnant and thur suddenly gave birth so bo bian, all the work was dump to me..at tat moment i was grumbling and of cos i was veri unhappy lah cos i cant even finish my own things liao still dump so many things for me to do..and moreover i am onli new here..alot of things i am still unfamiliarized so i am kinda slow in doing my things..many at times i am also quite blur cos i dun reali understand wat am i doing, many at times i am just following blindly the instructions..i think taking leave is the most jialat thing cos the next day u have to work like mad just to catch up ur unfinished work and on the other hand,ur collegues suffers cos they have to do ur work for u if the dateline is up..somehow thinking bac, i would rather prefer to study..at least u need not have to worry for this and tat..

yesterday i reali felt like i am some machine cos i have to check carefully for errors in the invoice, after which have to sort out the company names, followed by pasting the stamp and slotting in the letter into the mail..and the process was repeated by few hundred times cos there are few hundreds letters need to be mailed out..initally i have to work OT de, but after tat some of my friends helped me so heng loh, no need to work OT le, else i will reali go mad de..
hai~working in this company seems to tiring, i duno why am i feeling so tortured when i should be enjoying myself after my exams..working life seems reali sian..

~my new workplace~

its been 4 days since i last started work..seriously i am trying hard to adapt to working life as i am reali not used to working life cos schooling and working seems totally different..i am a science student and yet i was given a job in charge of accounts when i know nuts abt it..actually i am kind of a bit regretted agreeing to take up tat job so early when earlier on i didnt even know wat am i supposed to do in tat company..all i know was i am in charge of admin..worst still i didnt ask for the pay before i agreed to take up tat job..now thinkin bac, i think i am kind of reali dumb..actually the pay isnt veri bad, its just standard market price for A levels graduates..(phew thanks goodness), else i would have work for nothing..actually i duno if i should stay on for long til uni starts cos its super damn far man, plus transport fees would be damn expensive by next yr since i am no longer using student fare..hai~~i am still thinking over it..seriously for the past few days didnt reali have enough sleep cos i have to wake up reali early like normal sch days just to take a car ride from yishun since i duno where is it and i am super tired and sick..
yesterday i didnt go for the class outing cos i am quite sick and i reali need the weekend to rest, else i will get more sick..damn, my office practically everyone is sick, duno why also and i think i kana the virus from them and yet they still switch on the air con with full blust, which makes me cough more terribly..actually feel like not coming to work but i tell myself tat this is not schooling, i cant say i dun feel like coming then dun come, and moreover i just started work for 4 days onli, it wouldnt be nice if i take leave when i didnt reali contribute much to the company..
seriously the culture of this company differs veri much from my previous company tat i worked for..previously, the company tat i worked in was quite "high class" and the people there are quite highly educated, mostly til masters or some doctorate degree..but one bad thing is they are abit dao and unfriendly..but this current company that i am working for is kinda of "lower class" (sorry to say tat) ..i was reali shocked to hear so many drop out and one of them being 22 yrs old is already a mother..oh my god, i reali cant believe such things taking place..sometimes i think i reali have a too simplistic perceptions of the working world, i always have an ideal thinking tat everyone should be quite highly educated esp in spore, but it turn out to be likewise in this company..their spoken english is reali canot make it and those veri jialat type..theirs is worst off than mine when my spoken english is already quite jialat and lousy..sometimes i reali wonder how did they survive for this long..sometimes i am quite blessed tat at least i have gone up to A levels, though not highly educated yet, but at least i finish the basic and fundamental education tat everyone should receive..one thing tat i cant stand abt those ppl is tat they are damn vain pot lah..seriously i dun understand why must they keep taking out mirror constantly and their make up box whenever they are sian and keep looking into the mirror non stop..wa lao who are they trying to seduce man, boss ah?? i think boss also not interested loh cos all of them are aunties already..seriously i dun understand why are they so vain pot when they are not young anymore and even to the extent tat can be called auntie liao..and one thing which i dislike abt this company is tat there are lots of lustful guys or rather uncles and old men if i want to be mean..for 2 of the days, i reali feel uncomfortable stepping into tat company..first was one of the uncle gave me a lustful expression when i was alone waiting for the office to open..fine, so i ignored him but he kept on looking at me and exchanging those lustful looks and smile to me, then i got reali scared..next was an old man kept looking at me and my Colleagues asked me if i knew him as they are too wondering why is he kept looking at me...seriously i reali feel tat this company is full of lustful old man and uncles..some of them are even married, from wat i heard..this just shows tat GUYS CANT BE TRUSTED ! i think married guys are just worst off as they still continue to flirt around despite knowing tat u urself are already married..sometimes i just wonder are they ashamed of themselves for protraying such acts..to me, they are so old already and yet they still duno how to behave appropriately..its reali a shame..
this company has no hunks at all,all of them are uncles !! and they reali make my working days more sian, at least previously i have got lots of hunks to admire, so somehow makes my working days more enjoyable..moreover this company cant reali slack, they make sure tat u work from morning til off work cos there is always something for u to do even u have already completed ur task..i think this company not easy to earn their money man, when previously i could slack like mad after noon and yet receive the same pay as now..sometimes i got reali sian tat i took my own sweet time to complete my task but still i make sure tat i completes everything before i finish work lah..else, tongues might wag..and those aunties are reali not shy de loh..last fri boss decides to give all of the ppl in the company a treat and it was agreed tat he onli pay for chicken rice, but those aunties in my company say they cant eat chicken rice becos they are coughing ( i think its more of they want to eat expensive stuff and giving excuses onli)..so they order pizza hut boldly..i feel heart pain for the boss seriously..
todae i just went to a place and i was reali terrified walking in tat shopping centre despite being with my brother cos its seems tat tat shopping centre belongs totally to the thai..the words in the shopping centre are all written in thai and apparently all the ppl there in are thai, even the supermarket.they gave us tat look when we walked into tat shopping centre cos its kinda obvious tat we are not thai at all..i believe tat this is the usual hangout tat those thai ppl will come cos it seems to me tat i have stepped into thailand paradise.todae i also first time seeing a man changing sex to a female and he is a thai..oh man, (she) is super damn chio and i couldnt take my eyes off her and somehow (she ) realised it..first i saw her i look at her top body cos i was wondering if she a female or a male but it seems tat its not flat, so i take it tat she is a female then..my brother also feels tat (she ) also undergoes sex change..but i must sae i am pretty amazed by today's technology for changing a man to a woman..haha...
todae i suddenly thought of him when i past tat expressway..yes, its been yr since i last seen him and i have seriously no idea wat is he doing in life now..perhaps we have reali lost touch..hai~off for now cos tml i still need to work and its already 2.30 am le and yet i still haven sleep..

~the kbox session~

yesterday was out again til 11.30pm then reach home..early morning went out to cut hair at ang mo kio tat area..oh man, all could i say is tat i look like a nerd now !! yes, its super duper ugly cos my frings is super short now..if i have known tat i look veri ugly with tat veri short fringe then i wouldnt ask the auntie to cut until so short..now, i reali dun feel like stepping out of the house with tat ugly hairstyle cos i reali look like a china girl this time round if i never style my hair..oh shit lah, tml i am starting work liao, and i have no choice tat i have to go out of the house to work..its kinda sian to travel so far to work (even further than the route tat i took to sch in jc)...hai~if not for yh working over there, i would confirm reject to take up tat job..cos i thought tat with friends around, my working day would be more enjoyable at least..i reali wonder how the workplace would be like..i pray hard tat those ppl are easy to get along with..
bac with yesterday, after tat hair cut,i went to town again to sing kbox again for consecutive days, so i am kinda sian. i am pretty amazed by the voices of some of my classmates especially when i never heard them sing before cos sch never reali have a place for singing session or rather we never had a singing class..i like the way wee ping sings cos her voice is reali damn nice and her voice can reali stretch to those reali high pitch..and sorry i cant cos i find tat my singing sucks and i cant read those ancient chinese words..moreover my chinese isnt tat strong since its been yrs since i last touch chinese..somehow mind reali get rusty for chinese..haha..i think my those friends often go kbox, no wonder they are so pro in singing lah and it seems tat they remember all the lyrics in their mind le, tat's why they can follow the beat of the song, for me, i cant cos i dun remember any lyrics de, so i kept having breakage halfway through the song..
one of my friend also brought her first bf along to intro..haha, first impression not bad..quite friendly and nice to get along..both of them are the first one for one another, so i find it kinda sweet..seeing how sweet the guy was towards my friend, i reali feel like being in love..haha..yup, yesterday also happen to see an autogragh session at the ceni leisure kbox, the place where we sing k yesterday..tat taiwan ou xiang wang chuan yi looks better in person than in shows..not to mention tat he is super shuai and have super sharp and nice features.all of us sing k for 2 to 8pm and after which proceeded to have our dinner at some hong kong cafe..damn, i feel tat i have kana cheated for the food i pay cos the food taste quite bad though it is a restaurant..and moreover its not cheap after adding the service tax and GST..$9 for a plate of fried rice and the fried rice is not fried rice at all..its just pure normal plain rice with fried egg..one funny thing tat happened in the restaurant was one of my friend was super stingy and the actions tat he made are just too over..yes, it is gd to be thrifty and be budget, but not too over lah..somehow yesterday he "Clear"up the food tat both me and weeping couldnt finish and my friends gave him a nickname known as rubbish bin..but i find tat its kinda bad lah cos its not too nice to call ppl like tat mah...i think the guys cant stand him given the expressions tat they show cos most of us find him too calculative liao lah..for me, i was just down there laughing non stop cos i never seen a guy so jialat before..haha..i duno this virtue of his is a gd or bad thing..maybe to certain extent it is gd ba..aiya i duno also lah..
hai~I duno if should i look forward to work or not cos i reali havent rest enough leh, it seems tat i haven gotton enough sleep everyday cos one of the friend say i look veri tired..i also duno wat i am busy with everyday despite there is no studies now.todae i just went to NTU to meet up with yh..they are now ending their papers soon and somehow i reali fear of uni life, cos most of them say tat uni life is not easy..oh man, for now i reali fear for the grades tat i will get this yr..

~why cant u give me a leeway??~

tues has finally finished my exams and somehow i am kinda disappointed with my classmates cos it seems to me tat i am reali tat insignificant to them in class tat they have forgotton to tell me abt the class gathering til i took the initiative to ask one of my classmate. the thing tat upset me was tat everyone knows abt the gathering and yet i didnt even know the gathering was held straight after our last physics paper..maybe i am reali tat insignificant to them..=( since i thought tat i wasnt "invited" to join the class gathering, so i shall not turn up despite knowing tat the gathering was held on tat day cos i dun wan to be an unwanted guest when ppl didnt even invite u at all..and it seems tat none of them notice abt my absence, perhaps this is something tat reali breaks my heart..to me i have no close friens in this class, dun even mentioned abt having a gd friend.in this class..at times i reali feel tat i dun belong to tat class at all..partly i manage to survive for tat past 9 months was becos of the presence of yk and jy..yes, though initally i find it hard to live in a guy's world where most of their topics are just games and more games and nothing else, but later i came to got used to it le..though living in a guy's world is tough for me, but somehow i have gotton to understand guys better now.
thur was reali a terrible and unlucky day for me..thur morning pei my mum to see doctor for some body checkup, after which we proceeded to expo since things are on sale over there..and who knows my stupid shoe spoil and everything just drop out at the expo..damn, tat was wat i was thinking at tat time..(WHY must it spoil at tat time !!! ) as usual ppl look at me like some alien cos i was handicapped in my left feet since i have to drag my feet in order to move tat broken shoe along with me...after which in the evening, i meet up with the guys and their friends at bugis for steamboat..somehow i still feel tat marina bay's steamboat is much better compared to bugis steamboat even though price are quite almost the same..i guess tat steamboat at marina has much much more variety compare to bugis ba..seriously tat day i am reali damn full and i think i am going to gain weight after this buffet..oh no !!
todae (sat) was a veri tiring day..i was out the whole day from morning to midnight since i have to meet JT in the early morning for kbox..yes, this is my first time going for kbox though previous time my friends did jio me, but i was too busy with studies at tat time.haha initally i was reali shy to sing esp in the mike since it will be veri malu if u sounds reali veri bad..but later somehow confidence build up in me and i became less scared and pei seh to sing in the mike.and he sings so well lah, hor?? my singing power is not even 50% of him man..tat's the difference between a pro and someone who dun sings k at all.and from this i realised tat singing is actually not as easy as wat is preceived as and somehow u can get reali tired after singing for hours..after the singing of k, we proceeded on to creative since i am buying a webcam on behalf of my brother..the resolution of the webcam seems quite gd but tat mp3 seems reali damn noob cos it is a super old model and worst still, it doesnt have a build in FM..no wonder they sell it so cheap as a package..after tat went to meet my teacher and yk and jy they all..oh man, i must say tat the preaching session is reali damn sian to such an extent tat i decided to switch off even before the preaching session starts..duno why i just dun like to listen to those religious talks despite i have my own religion as well..i feel tat all these talks doesnt interest me at all..well, maybe tat's the difference between the past gerneration and the present generation..today night mum quarrelled with me over the piano issues, as usual i expected already..i reali cant stand it when she kept pestering me abt the piano thing once after my A levels exams are over..cant i just take a breather and have some proper rest?? why must she always fann me with all these issues when i told her tat i told her right from the start tat i dun like playing piano at all and i have no interest for music at all..why must force me to get tat grade 8 cert when i told them tat i WILL NOT teach piano at all be it future or now cos i just dun like..so i dun see the point in forcing me so hard when i dun like it at all..the more ppl use force on me, the more i will oppose them cos i reali dun like ppl to use force on me, rather it would be better if they reason out things with me..mum scolded me for being honest to my piano teacher abt my opinion abt piano..she said tat she wasted so much money on me and yet this was wat i told my teacher..but i still felt tat i did nothing wrong cos i am just stating wat i feel and everyone has their rights to choose wat they wan wat..she scolded me for starting work next week cos i am more piah towards working than concentrating on my piano..then wat she wans man???stay at home for 24 hrs just to play piano and do nothing else, sorry then this is not going to work for me..i am not going to be a frog in a well..seriously all these issues have reali pissed me off like anything, which explains why i am still awake at 3.3oam just to vent my anger on the blog..now, everyone in the music sch knows abt me and everythings arised becos of my mum..
tml i will be out again the whole day, seriously i dun wish to talk more to her, else we will agrue more..hai~~why are life always tat stressful???

~A levels have finally ended!~

todae tat physics mcq paper has somehow cock up liao..there is no time to think at all..shit lah, so ended up like the bac questions all use "guessing game"..i think i gonna do not so well for physics liao..all i hope dun get a C or below..if can get a B then i will be happy like mad liao..yeah, exams finally finish le..this week got quite a no of activities..this thur has steamboat and sun going out with my ex j1 classmates to ktv..oh man, going to be broke soon seh, plus last week spent so much money on clothes, so ended up like this week have to save up for this week activities...
todae onwards can watch tv like siao again..hooray !!!!

~efficiency has slightly decreased by quite a bit~

yes one more paper to go on next tues and all i can enjoy like mad later..somehow the past 3 days i didnt reali piah like shit, one day was gone cos i slagged for tat particular day plus tat evening went out with my brother to buy clothes since it was on sale, so was helping my brother to choose his pants so tat he can bring all those to taiwan..for me needless to say, of cos i bought some clothes bac home too..this week has been spending about $50 just on clothes itself, so much so tat mum has started to nag and scold le cos my dad will be out of job next yr and yet i am spending lots of money on clothes..but i didnt use her money wat, the money tat bought my clothes came from my savings, despite tat she still nag alot lah..i think i am just wasting money on clothes tat i will seldom wear cos its not veri practical in singapore ah..for instance i just bought a jacket or it can be use as a coat cos its quite long, and i think i will seldom wear it or either i just buy it just for pure admiration..
seriously, preparing for A levels has lasted for more than 1 month..somehow i am reali getting a little sian of studying the same old lecture notes again and again repeatedly..as a result, i think my efficiency has started to decreased lately..duno why man..maybe i am just reali sick of dragging so long..yes of cos its gd tat we have ample time to revise our work in between papers, but i think somehow the whole A levels reali dragged for too long liao lah..this yr it started early yet ended late compared to last yr..tell me who wont get sian of it..
hai~this weekend has reali piah for my physic mcqs liao..physics is my weakest subject, cant afford to get a D again..moreover tat stupid paper 2 has dragged down my marks, so have to do well for paper 1 to compensate for the lost marks..currently i have so many things thinking in mind..but duno why this time round i didnt reali feel reali happy when A levels are going to end..feeling this time round was just reali neutral..but i am kinda bu se de to leave sch cos somehow after tat i need not to attend sch anymore, especially when u need not travel such a long distance just to reach sch...i will reali miss sch and the teachers here..

~finally back from exams~

one month of suffering will soon end in 1 week time..oh gosh, this one month is reali hard to survive man, days when i have to piah like shit and study like mad and burn midnight oil til i fall sick..and everyday seems to be sleeping for onli 3 hrs out of 24 hrs for tat one whole month, which explains why i kana fever even before the start of exam..so far still left with 2 more mcq paper and after tat i will be free like a bird again, i can do watever i want and probably will find a job soon..
in general this time round, for majority of the papers, i think its easier compared to last yr paper, somehow the standard of difficulty has decreased..(is it becos we are the last batch taking le? i duno also) but at least this time round, i dun have the feeling of doing the paper til i have to cry and sweat..somehow this time round i didnt think too much and heart was just feeling reali calm before stepping into the exam hall, which explains why i am not tat stressed up compared to last yr...but i must say tat taking the A level the sec time is a different experience..somehow u are less stressed up and somehow u can manage ur time better in completing the paper cos this time round i will tell urself tat die die also must finish..of cos having expose to so many questions due to so many times of retainning has made me gain experience of how should i approach and tackle the qns...haha..tat's the gd side of it but disadvantage is i wasted 2 yrs of youth..hai~~but seriously i reali duno this time round my gp can pass or not man..thinking bac of wat i wrote, i think i have reali misinterprete the qns and probably wrote of point..its either this time round i do quite ok for gp or either i will fail terribly...but all i hope is tat wont get worst than last yr grade..somehow this time round for gp i memorized the whole set of notes tat my teacher gave cos i know tat if i were to write in my own words then confirm plus guarentee wont pass de..its not my language tat is bad, actually i always fail gp cos i dun have enough evidence and egs to back up my argument..in fact for most of my comp paper majority of them are free from grammer mistakes and spelling..of cos i dun write the same style tat i wrote for blogs cos its too formal lah and moreover i need time to translate wat i am thinking before typing..(so mafan)
during this 1 month i am also quite touched by the gd luck msg tat i received from my friends..though all of us has gone a different path, some studying in uni, some working..somehow it makes me feel tat they havee not forgotton me..haha..lately my brother has gotton a psp from his friends since he is leaving taiwan soon in dec..wah, so gd sia cos its some expensive present and tat psp has lots of function man..after my A levels i shall start exploring how to use before he take it away from taiwan..and by the way my new laptop will be gone for one yr since my brother insisted tat he wants to take tat laptop away though tat laptop belongs to mine..actually i think eventually i will give in to him cos i think calling overseas are expensive, so bo bian in order to find out how he is doing and tracking his daily activities, i have to give my laptop away for 1 yr..
ok shall end for today cos i am reali tired since yesterday i didnt sleep at all since i have to piah finish everything before i can sleep peacefully..so for the time being, have to choing for my mcq and ensures tat i must score in tat paper in order to pull up my previous papers..

~graduation day 2007~

yesterday was the last day of sch, which also marks the graduation day..actually i reali dun feel like coming to sch cos i feel too ashamed to go up the stage again to receive the gradution cert (again)..moreover all the teachers will be there to looking at u..sigh..but eventually i still went cos i felt that i shouldnt be tat mean and bad to my classmates for not turning up..yesterday the graduation day was much less interesting compared to last yr..the speech made was quite typical for most classes until i am reali kind of reali sian sitting there to watch the students graduate..haha,so i took secret glances at my eye candy since i was reali bored lah..of cos there is one particular class which their classmates tried making fun of the ger cos they shout out something like " XXX must hug mr XXX.. and they keep making tat stupid noise" opps, i think its kind of obvious tat that particular ger student have a crush on tat teacher.somehow can see tat he is kinda embrasses and shy..but i wouldnt be surprised tat so many female students have crush on him cos he has gd looks wat..
yesterday i also came to realise tat actually my admirer has lots of xiao mei mei kinda fond of him also..haha..but i am not surprised for him too cos like wat i said earlier, he is quite charming and memerizing...having leaving the sch, i ask my classmates what they will miss abt the sch..then she said she will miss her admirer..haha, maybe i will also miss my admirer also, but later we came to realise tat actually we have the same admirer!! haha..somehow i realised tat there are more and more shuai ge coming to our sch..but haha i dun have the chance to look anymore since i am reali graduating this time round.yesterday the principle also announced tat she is retiring this yr, somehow i feel abit sad cos she has been a reali great principle..many at times she will talk to me when she sees me, somehow she just recognise me ever since 2004 when i first step into yj...yesterday the buffet was kinda nice compared to last yr..haha i am thinking is it becos the principle is leaving liao tat's why have such nice food, else given our sch, they seldom have such nice buffet de (Cos they always want to save money wat)..yesterday was sitting with jun yi to eat then he ask his math teacher to sit along with us..so the teacher started to talk me...so he asked me which class i am from..then i said 204..then he said "orh..qing min ah.." oh man i didnt know tat i am so "outstanding" among the teachers who didnt even teach me before..this leads me to recall why tat time my admirer used to ask me which class am i from..so i see there is a reason behind this..yesterday also took a number of picts but i think its kinda ugly with tat "ITE uniform" and i look quite shagged too cos i was too tired liao..
2 weeks from now will be my first paper..hopefully everything will be a brisk..i reali hope tat i dun get a shocking paper again, wat still worries most is my gp..hopefully i can get a passage tat i can unerstand,else i doubt it will be easy for me to pass gp..i think this time round, i better dun stress myself too much cos i dun wan to be like last yr kept having fever after my first paper, and worst still tat fever somehow cant subside due to the insufficent rest tat my body couldnt get cos i have to study wat..please bless me with gd grades now..yesterday my chem teacher was asking me wat's my purpose of repeating cos i got a "C" for chem..somehow i can feel tat he feels tat i shouldnt have repeated..hey but A levels is 2 weeks from now, there is no purpose and point in talking abt this now..i just have to stay calm and give my best shot this time round, whether its gd or bad, have to leave to the heaven to decide..

~i was kinda pissed off man~

this whole week was kinda a tiring week, the time table has changed le and its no longer tat disperse now, in fact the time table was reali reali pack..which i felt was gd cos i reali dun like to have so much breaks in between cos like tat we will be utilising the time we have and during this period of time, having alot of our own time for revision is impt..hai~i am reali scared now..seems like i cant finish my revision like tat de..still got so many things haven practise and worst still i haven even touch my lecture notes at all..graduation day will be in a week time and its kinda sian to go up stage again like wat it happens last yr...
yesterday i was kinda pissed with my gp teacher cos i feel tat she is just wasting her time on unimpt things and she is wasting our precious time lah..wat the hell man, she asked everyone to bring their file cos she want to check how we file our file and whether did we follow her style of filing..of cos i purposely didnt bring cos its damn heavy and i have all my stuff already, so why bother to check man..so wat i choose not to file things in her style??? everyone has his/her ways of filing things wat, so why should i listen to whatever u say..the impt thing is tat i am comfortable with how i want to file my things so tat i am do revision..yesterday i also purposely didnt do some of her homework cos i felt tat its useless to do tat piece of assigment and moreover as if it will come out again..so she was quite unhappy with me of cos for my behaviour...but who cares man..i just dun like ppl to force me do things tat i dun like..but the other compo assignment i did hand up lah cos i felt tat somehow it can trigger our minds to think of points..then during class she kept taking glance at my paper to see what i wrote and somehow i wrote crap cos i reali dun understand the passage wat, so cannot understand the questions ask..then she started to be fierce towards me and ask me to relook the questions again..but i mean language this kind of thing is reali hard to improve wat, if the basic is even not there, then its veri hard to proceed on wat..hai~gp sucks man..
weekend is another tiring week ahead..of cos must start piahing my TYS again..hai~hopefully i can survive the last battle and dun fall sick again..
i think my chem tutor is kinda not happy with me either cos i kept poning sch and he always use tat "Tone" to talk to me..hai~but i reali want to do my own revision wat, cant always follow so closely with the H2 syallbus wat..i am already struggling with my syllabus already and i cant multi task too..so who should i follow??

~oh my god, i must have struck toto..~

last weekend my brother decided to buy a camera since we saw a veri cheap camera and quality also not bad, so he say tat he will be forking out money this time round to buy it..ya, of cos he should be the one paying this time round since the previous time i fork out all my money to buy tat laptop..moreover this time he will be taking the camera to taiwan so i cant use either..the camera came with free stuff such as rechargable battery, SD card, cleaning lens and some tripod stand and many more, so i think its kinda worth it la and the brand is kinda not bad too.....i think in future i will go to the audio house at liang court cos i think its much more cheaper than SIM LIM lah..my brother get so pissed bargaining at the SIM LIM tat he told the uncle tat if he wont give him tat price then he will leave and wont buy from him..haha..but somehow tat method works ah and the uncle reali give in..
yesterday was mooncake festival and i think i reali ate alot of mooncakes in sch man cos whenever i walk outside the library i will take a slice of the mooncake as snack to eat until unknownly i didnt realised tat i have eaten so many slices,having walk pass the library for so many times..oh my god and worst still my brother said its super fatting...one quarter of the mooncake is equvilant to a meal and i think i am forgoing my lunch for this few days to compensate for the extra fats tat i have took in..the park near my house was kinda nice cos yesterday all those small kids was playing with crackers and lanterns..ya, wanted to go down to play with crackers but i have no time !!! and i think seeing a big girl playing with such things seems veri malu..haha..
todae i think i have reali struck toto man cos tat scarcastic guy somehow smile to me during the morning when i was walking towards class..i was reali afraid tat he would scold me for walking around the corridor when its surposely to be assembly time..actually wanted to wait for him to walk further away from my class before i proceed bac to class from the toilet but eventually i decided not to wait for him to leave cos i have the mentality tat why should i scared of him?? so i boldly and secretly walked behind his steps hoping tat he dun see me but somehow maybe i walked until too loud liao then he turned bac and saw me..its a miracle tat he smiled to me cos usually he seldom smile..but i must say he got a veri nice smile..so the first thing he asked me was "wat class am i from?" so i replied him then i quickly walked faster and run..phew luckily he didnt say anything...haha..but i think he knows i am a repeat student cos the repeat students are kinda "Outstand" from the rest of the students..and sometimes i also feel tat i do have "Special previlages" in some sense just tat sometimes i try not to take for granted wat i am given..
todae i also came to knew abt someone..seriously i think its kinda cruel for the ger to do tat to him..i have seen someone taking the steps of him and ended up repeating yr 2, hopefully history dun repeat itself cos i reali dun hope ppl to be like me repeating twice cos my results just not gd enough to go local uni..if u are rich then just be it..though its easier said than done but i guess there should be no more distractions from now on since its A levels time in 1 month and u have never taken A levels before unlike me..at least i have gotton my cert but u have not..so hopefully he can buck up..
this sun my aunt is going bac liao and thankfully i have lesser noise at home now so i can study better..aiya she reali came at the wrong time man, shouldnt have come now cos i haveing exams soon..else, i will reali sit down and chat with her all i want,...fri poning sch again, haha and mon sch holidays so i got 4 days at one go to study..and this time round relai must piah liao esp my gp got i no nuts on gp facts..so shitty man, i just hope tat i can just get away with tat stupid gp forever, but i cant...=(

~gd teachers often inspire u...~

todae i have decided to pon sch since i guess tat i reali have to sit down to revise my own syllabus myself since those new jc2 didnt cover in their syallbus and i am kinda scared now cos all this while i haven been practising wat is not covered by them..actually i did tell my form teacher tat i might not be coming to sch during oct onwards and she say ok for me cos i am different from them since i am taking a different syallbus from them..she says u urself know wat u want this time..yup but i wont disappear totally to the extent tat i wont come sch for all the days, just tat i will onli come sch twice and thrice a week ba..todae dad also didnt say anything abt me not going sch, so i was kinda surprised cos last yr he will usually nag at me and would consel me for not going sch..todae nobody is at home now, and i am kinda relief cos lately my house has been veri noisy because my aunt came from indo, so cant reali study since sometimes she will chat with me..
yesterday my teacher was nagging at the j2 saying tat he dun see the sense of urgency in them, some still look tat happy go lucky or either they just have the bo chap attitude..and he say tat more and more ppl and starting to pon sch..so he said tat if we are so gd then dun bother to consult him when we got any doubts lah..but hearing wat he say abt tat, i am kinda guilty abt poning sch but i think i shouldnt care now and i think my teacher will understand my difficulty..i think my chem teacher is a veri gd teacher and i reali enjoy his lessons and i think his style of teaching kinda suit me as compared to my previous chem tutor who is a bullet train (So catch no ball) and i think having gd teachers will somehow make u like tat particular subject..i like his lessons cos his voice is super loud and clear so i wont fall asleep whereas during gp lessons my teacher's voice is so soft lah, so i always fall asleep unknowningly during her lessons..seriously i am kinda scared of gp this yr cos it seems tat my gp is deproving since tat 3 months of nuahing make me lost touch of gp..
todae i will tell myself tat i will study reali hard so tat at least i wont waste my time and let myself down, to me now every min counts and i must cherish every min cos i onli left with around 1 month to exams..phew hopefully this time the paper will be easier and i must reali pray hard for it..and i am kinda of abit stress now but not as stress as last yr, but i think eventually all it matters is tat u try ur best just like wat my maths teacher told me...but i am kinda happy this yr cos the RJ, VJ and all the smart ppl are not competing with me in terms of the old syallbus anymore..so we onli have the private candidates, reapeat students and MI students competiting with each other..

~my aunt just came yesterdae~

aunt just came from indo yesterday and my house is pretty noisy cos the 2 women just cant stop talking louding (reffering to my mum and her) so ended up like cant reali study cos its so noisy lah..and i feel reali distracted esp when they kept asking me to see this and tat (reffering to stuff she bought for us)..yes she reali bought the fake eyelash tat i told her to buy since its damn cheap in indo cos it cost $0.30 onli when singapore sells it for $2..it just seems how much those ppl can earn cos they earn 7 times of wat they sell in indo..and she bought lots of clothes for me and i think i reali have too much clothes to wear liao and after i finish my A levels, i need not have to worry abt buying clothes during working..anyway this week is pretty relaxed man..and i am going to stop doing the sch homework liao unless i feel tat its useful to watever my syllabus is concern...and i think the sch is reali making an effort to make sure we pass gp cos all the stuff tat they taught now haven been taught in the sch from wat i know from the past 3 yrs in yj and its this period tat i reali pay attention during gp lessons..aiya i think they should have started this earlier mah...

~the dinner @ ntu~

wed decided to meet up with yh and agnes at ntu since its been a long time since we last seen each other..of cos when i took tat 179 bus, its kinda awkward when it seems tat i am the onli person who wear uniform when others are wearing their home clothes..not to mention tat when i was walking into the sch towards canteen 2, everyone was giving me tat look as if i am so alien like tat..since my friends knew tat i would feel kinda awkward stepping into ntu in sch uniform, so they decided to lend me their big jacket so tat it would cover my uniform, but somehow it didnt hide tat well..well, i expected tat everyone would give me tat look so in future i will not stepped into ntu with unifrom again..anyway i onli have 2 more months to wear uniform, after which i can offically throw again my "ITE" uniform..we chatted for 1 hour before heading home to study while yh has some hostel meeting..she told me ntu has lots of celebrities and actually they look reali normal looking when they are in sch..of cos i reali wonder how tat "Xiao lu dou" look like cos my friend has seen him with someone from our sch..
few days bac, the math lecturer was saying tat "i am sorry abt the repeat students tat we have to neglect u all cos its not easy to cater to everyone.." of cos i predicted tat at the end of the yr we have to do independent learning liao and no one can help u unless u do ur independent learning..well, for now i feel tat its kinda hard to follow with watever they are doing cos though syallbus is slightly different for chemistry but their style of questioning are totally different from us and i reali feel like telling my teacher tat i dont feel like going for the extra revision programmes cos i felt tat it wont help much..i would rather i study on my own man, at least i am covering wat i should cover and not covering and not learning new stuff from the new syallbus..she also said tat this yr if we did worst than last yr then u ppl will have wasted 1 yr..of cos everyone dun hope such things to happen, but maybe this time will do better ba, but i cant guarantee an "A", just make sure tat i put in my best can le ..thinking bac of having short of tat one grade then i can stepped into NTU doorstep liao, spur me even further when i must tell myself tat this time round i die die also must step into the sch..
i think our new vice principle is kinda veri "on" cos i didnt expect him to search for our sch to know more abt the history of yj..he said tat even though u might have deleted ur blog, somehow he can still manage to track bac using some system which i duno how is it possible..
todae my chem teacher had a private consultation with me cos he wanted to go through stuff tat he didnt thought in class since those stuff are not in their new syallbus..of cos i was thinking he is quite a nice teacher cos from wat i see from my repeat friends, their teachers dun even bother if my friends know abt their stuff..but duno why i feel kinda awkward when he teach me one to one but not when he teaches me in class..of cos he is not tat fierce, but somehow the mood just seems to be reali weird and i think i am reali scared of guys when it comes to indivual face to face talking..duno why also ...cos in the past when all my tution teachers are all guys (cos my mum wanted guys and not females) , i would also feel fearful of them despite the fact tat they are not even fierce at all..i am so scared of them tat i wouldnt dare to look straight into their eyes..and tat's wat i did with my teacher and pretended to look down seriously as if i am looking at the quesion paper..
A levels in getting nearer and nearer..hai~

~my brother is reali leaving this time~

next week my aunt will be coming to singapore and she will be bringing lots of stuff for us, food,shoes and clothes from indonesia..haha..look forward for her arrival since i am quite "Gum" with her, somehow i can chit chat with her among all my mum's sisters..
its been confirm tat my brother will be leaving taiwan for his army for a yr and he cant come bac til one year..when he told my mum tat he is the onli hourned one out of the whole medic to be chosen to go taiwan, my mum was feeling rather sad instead of being happy for him..my brother was feeling rather happy since he can go overseas instead of stucking in singapore.its obvious tat my mum was unwilling to let go of him since she said tat she is worried for him when he reached there..as for me, i was kinda sad of a while when he said he will be going off in nov, yup i am kind of pity him cos he will be going into a foreign land tat he has never been to before and moreover there is no one tat he knows over there..neither do we have any kins over there..so i am kind of wondering how is he going to survive..but i must say his salary is reali alot having posted to taiwan, its so much more compared to wat my dad earn lah..anyway i think i will kind of miss him having gone for a yr..
yesterday mum and brother have a big quarrel over his lazyness to wash his army stuff after going to the jungle, and giving all the dirty job for my mum to clean up..and my mum was kinda pissed so he dumped all his stuff into the water and his impt maunal aid book got wet and his book is restricted so it cant be bought, so my brother is damn angry lah cos all of the pages of the book has torn..but wat to do, still have to dry it in the sun and hopefully still can read the words loh..tat nite my brother was so angry with her over something tat he use veri aweful hokkien vulgarities on my mum and i think its kinda rude lah, but i didnt say anything..seriously u cant tat crude vulgarities that he use cos i think its damn rude..and i think he has changed alot after going to the army, hai~~my mum was saying tat" so wat u are smart but u are so ill mannered.., what's the point??and wat high rank u got are not worthy of u.." ya i totally agree with wat she say..so wat u are so smart??why give tat arrogant attitude to us man..
sat my working friend is having a design flower competition..wanted to go down to vote for her but i guess weekend i am not free and i cant waste any of my weekends anymore cos A levels is just 1 month plus and i need to be more focus and do well this time..as time is nearing, i am starting to feel scared...hai~~

~the teacher's day celebration~

this yr teacher's day celebration was kinda special cos the sch has became a bazaar of selling 2nd stuff..yes i bought something from the teachers since i thought it was quite cheap..one of the stall has lots of students patronizing cos the stuff tat the teachers sold and wear was all branded was actually its considered cheap..wanted to buy some clothes from tat female teacher since i felt tat her fashion sense is just gd..my the other idol was equally wearing branded stuff too and it can be seen by the clothes he sell, such as zara and etc..tat day after the so many rounds of "Shopping" decided to sit at the top of the "roof" to watch everything..oh man i got a veri nice view to see the 2 idol, not to mention tat my friend is more crazy than me cos she also idolized one of the teachers and her actions are damn kua zhang..just when i was going towards that guy stall, my heart was smelt by tat librarian smile cos his smile was damn nice and sunshine..initally was standing there to look around to see if there is anything to buy from his stall by i think i am "scared"off by his smile so decided to stop going to his stall to "Shop"..haha..actually i thought he is a teacher but my friend told me he is not..chey no wonder i never seen him before..
at times i reali feel tat i am kinda cold blooded cos i am not caring towards others and neither do i show concerned for them when they are sick..i duno why am i like tat also but i feel tat i reali have tat bo chap attitude for others..yesterday when i was taking a train i saw a pregnant lady and i was sitted happily studying but i was just pretending to not see tat pregnant lady cos i was too lady to stand up since my journey is quite long..all the rest of the passengers are also like me pretending not to see too but eventually a middle man decided to stood up and gave her his seat..
yesterday i also fell down with a weird pose at the hospital and the nurse was so shocked by my fall tat she shouted out of the sudden..oh man tat's damn malu..fancy a ger who is so old liao still fall down despite the fall is not tat slippery..yes and i developed a big bruise man and its damn pain lah..
hai~this holiday like never do anything seh..hmmm..this is bad...though this is my sec time taking A levels but somehow i still feel abit of scare and i am scared tat i dun have time to finish doing my ten yr series and my mind would be worried de..but i still prefer going to sch cos at least i dun feel so sian..

~afterall i still cant escape the principal eyes..~

few days bac went to the canteen to eat with my friend..so i saw tat principal, wanted to siam, but it seems tat she saw me liao..so she asked me how am i?? why is it tat she always ask me the same question whenever she sees me man..so i say ok loh then smile bac..then she say "jiayou.."i think she is quite nice, just duno why some students dun like her..hmm..the students always sae she damn traditional, but i feel thinking wise not tat traditional lah..

few days bac also sat down to talk with the drink stall uncle for the first time..actually he quite nice to talk to ah..i am quite surprise tat he still remember me as i the honeydue girl..he said tat i am a veri weird person cos whenever i buy things from him, after tat i dun look at ppl de and it seems tat i look veri dao so he didnt talk to me..chey actually i am not dao one loh..i didnt want to talk cos he is a stranger to me mah, cant expect me to chat with a stranger when i dun even know u tat well wat..then yesterday also took class pict for the teacher's day, kinda tiring after taking so many shots..of cos some pose tat my classmates tat they made are quite funny...then my chem teacher also told me yesterday tat nobody pass chem among the 6 ppl who take the old syllabus..all F except me who get AO..so he was laughing out when he said tat..haha, he is implying tat the results are too unbelievable until he laugh or wat??anyway cant be blamed for such results cos time reali too little liao and moreover its such a killer paper, so its not surprising tat we got this kind of results.. gp this time still F, but got some improvement compared to the previous time..i am just short of tat 1 mark to get an AO for gp..and its makes the results slip so ugly lah with tat F..the rest of the 2 subjects still not bad..at least still worth mentioning..

tml is celebration for teacher's day..haha..i shall try to look out for idol still its been a long long time since i last seen him and i am just curious wat is he selling tml..haha..maybe i will visit his stall if i happen to pass by..

~prelims are over~

prelims are finally over...yeh!! something which i dun feel this yr is tat i dun feel tat lost anymore as compared to last yr..i remembered last yr at this time i was feeling totally lost cos it seems tat i duno most of my stuff yet, ended up crying most of the time due to the heavy stress tat i have to endure by myself..of cos this yr duno why such feelings no longer exist anymore..perhaps this yr i have more confidence to take A levels le..
my brother was saying to us tat probably he has a high chance to be send to taiwan for training and onli one person will be selected to go for this trip and this time it will be representing singapore..and he said tat if he were to be selected then he will be gone for a yr, so he asked if i will miss him??i told him i will onli miss u when i need to consult u on my studies..haha..actually i duno lah, probably i will miss the noise tat he made at home..=( but the cool thing is family memebers can get a free trip to taiwan to visit him..wah tat's cool cos i never been to taiwan before and i heard things over there are cheap and u can shop like mad..
one of the sch teachers said the past few days tat A levels is a test of diligence, but i beg to defer cos i think its a test of intelligence and diligence..nevertheless still have to do well despite wether is it a test of diligence or intelligence..todae i am going to be a hairdresser for my mum cos i am helping her to dye her white hair..haha i think i like to help ppl dye hair than to study..wat's the use of studying when i dun see the use of any applications tat i have studied before..hai~Sian man..tml having lessons again..

~i feel touched by her words~

last fri when i was walking towards the bus interchange to take a bus home, then halfway through agnes saw me but i didnt saw her so she called out for me..so chatted for quite a long time before heading for home..we talked abt how's life in uni for her and my classmates tat have manage to go NTU...she feels tat uni is more of independent learning and not as spoon feed as before in jc..yup, my close friend is struggling with her course cos she have never taken econs before..from wat my friend describe uni life as, i reali feel like entering and studying in uni seems to me like a nightmare cos they sae tat tutorials and lectures are quite useless so have to depend on ur own to do research to gain further understanding, but duno is it true or not lah..wait til i can enter uni then i shall see for myself..but something i do believe tat its not easy to survive in uni..but i am kinda touched by her words cos she say " we will be waiting for u over here..(refering to NTU) " yup i am also not tat confident tat i can do well enough to step into the entrance of local uni cos i am scared off by the physics paper last yr when the style and type of questioning has changed drastically..but nevertheless i will still give my best shot this time round though i am not tat confident..
my dad was telling me the last few days tat my cousin was kinda ostracized in class cos she is a repeat student, having to come bac sch to repeat jc2..they feel tat having a repeat student around in class just spoil the whole environment for studying and they sae tat all repeat students are stupid..but seriously as a repeat student i dun feel likewise cos not all are stupid lah..there are some who are lazy to study and just refuse to work..of cos its unhappy to hear such comments but i guess it's the usual stereotype tat ppl will give to a repeat student so i wont reali take it to hard..of cos if u want to proof them wrong then just work reali work and make sure they become speechless to comment..dun ever give up just on watever they commented cos its still not the end of the day and there is still a long journey to go..
lately my dad has been playing in the stock market since its a gd time to play since the shares are reali cheap to buy for duno wat reason..maybe there is some crisis or watever lah..so i decided to chip in a bit since the previous time i earn $300 within a few days..but this time round not so lucky man..i almost lost abit of the money tat i chip in cos the shares just seems to be not going up..damn shity lah..but seriously i think its best not too invest too much money cos this kind of things are reali unpredictable and dangerous to play of u dun have the capital..maybe at one moment u can win alot of money but if u are on the unlucky side, then u can end up homeless after losing all ur hard earned money..so moral of story is not to play with large amt then u wont die so terribly..
i have finally survived through this week cos the mission impossible has become possible =)..yup, it seems tat this week everyday have been sleeping for 3 hrs onli so i am kinda drained out already..generally i can do much more questions compared to last yr..thinking of how i did last yr, i think its kind of reali pathetic man..but that chemistry paper is a killer paper lah..they so niao with the time when they give us so many questions to solve..it is mission impossible to finish wat..dun think i can score in prelims but probably not towards the failing range (except for gp)..maybe just not doing tat well ba..lately i have been mesmerizing a teacher's figure..haha, duno wat am i doing also..instead of coming to sch to study seriously, ended up looking at tat teacher's figure..but reali cant be helped !! cos it seems tat everyday i bump into him de leh..i dun wan to look also canot..haha, i think my behaviour is getting from bad to worst man..
i am left with 2 months now...after nuahing for this few days i must have sure tat i must study hard and after end of nov i will play reali hard..yesterday mum was calculating how much she spent on my piano fees and indeed its not cheap ah considering the money is gd enough to play in a stock market..she was kinda disappointed tat my failed my grade 8 sec time again..of cos i was scolded by her the whole nite too cos she still no results..worst still i got exactly the same marks as before, no improvement nor deprovement..aiya i told her many times liao i not the musically inclined type and moreover tat grade 8 cert is so hard to get lah...most of the ppl need to take many time before they can pass..seriously i feel like giving up liao cos seriously i have no idea where have i play tat bad so much so tat i was so marked down on my 3 pieces..sigh..

~i duno how should i survive next week!~

this whole week was just prelims..generally the one week holiday is onli abt studying,national day also has to study =(, so sian.. but this holiday i didnt study tat much as compared to last yr..i must admit tat i am not tat hardworking compared to last yr and my efficency of studying has decreased alot..hai~i am so tired of stuying!!! actually i am kinda scared and worried abt A levels too cos its onli like 2 month away and it seems tat i am not tat well prepared..afterall i am still abit worried abt it though it seems tat i look bo chap..hai~~
the papers tat i did so far is onli ok for maths..seriously i feel happy when i did the maths paper cos at least i know how to do most of the qns and i think this yr prelims is easier than last yr ah..physics wise is reali no ok though some of the friends say tat physics is easy..i am just a physics idoit and i cant do physics also cos i dun see the logic behind physics. gp surprising was comprehensive enough for me to ans the qns..cos usually i dun even understand the general idea behind the text..
last week my maths teacher msg me out of the sudden..i was kinda shocked seriously, thinking if have i done anything wrong?? and after i called him just to realise tat its some small matter...i think he also want to spot check on me if i got study too lah, cant be so bo liao to call to tell me tat thing..i mean u are a teacher wat, so u dun have to tell me watever on how u get out tat marks for my daily work.. and by the way i didnt do any tutorial this yr, but in case he duno yet..hai~i duno next week how am i going to survive?? i have chanks of facts to memorize and i have yet to study and i am onli given 2 days to finish everything before mon comes..oh no!!!turning bac, it seems tat time flies reali fast ah, its august now and veri soon i will be graduating..wah tat's great..

~i am reali reali tired~

i am reali reali veri sian studying from day to night and worst still my whole body keeps aching..neck kept feeling veri suan and pain too, all these made my studying terrible..i reali feel like telling my dad tat i want to give up liao!!! somehow i feel tat the more i stay still at one place to study then the slower the facts goes into my head..its seems tat i get to the saturation point veri quickly..everynite i still say tat i will bun midnight oil, but ended up sleeping quite early..i think this time the prelim is gone case liao, i have yet to finish even half of wat is required and i onli have 3 more days to finish studying..i feel tat i have no life at all now..whole day is just abt stuyding and sleeping..
wed during the celebration i suddenly have the urge to lie on his shoulder, haha, not becos his shoulder are attractive to lie on (Though it might seems to be), but i was reali tired so just wanted to lie my head on someone else shoulder just like wat i used to did it on my girl-friends.but too bad he is a guy, so i cant do tat..as i was sitting with them watching the events, i thinked of the days when i was with my friends..of cos such days cant happen again but i reali missed the days with my girl-friends..i reali wonder how are 2 of my girl friends doing in uni now..should be enjoying life liao ba..
this few days also watch the korean drama tat i have been watching for months..oh my god, the lead actor is so shuai,tall and well build..haha, if he can be my bf then tat would be gd (haha, as if)...well, i have many things to do after A levels..want to earn money to buy things tat i like..its seems tat spending the money tat u earn feel shoik, when u no need to ask money from parents..wed just bought a pair of jeans since its was on sale, but becos i dun have money to buy another pair of jeans tat i have been eyeing for,so bo bian have to forgo buying tat pair..
its seems to me tat army life is kinda shoik, cos i see my brother always sleep and eat the whole day and he is so stress free lah..todae he has an ambulance attachment and he is late for 2 hrs or so cos he overslept..i wonder how his officer will punish him man..should be another guard duty again ba..of cos he is not going to say tat he overslept, i told him to say tat he is having stomach ache during morning, but i duno if his officer will belive or not since stomach ache cant be checked de wat..

~i expected this since the day i returned bac to sch~

past few days, my brother was saying tat his birthday is coming liao then he is asking me wat am i giving him..and this made me suddenly recall of xxx birthday cos somehow xxx birthday is near my brother birthday..it just shows tat xxx no longer place tat importance to me, else i would have remembered it..anyway happy birthday in advance (though i doubt tat xxx will come to this blog.) somehow me and xxx automatically didnt talk after tat incident, and i expected it somehow..though at times i did thought of taking the initative to talk first, but i cant find any topic to start with and moreover i am quite scared to talk to xxx ever since tat thing..i also duno why...hmmm...of cos its glad to know tat xxx is doing quite well in life (i supposed) , in fact i am happy for xxx too..
yesterday dad was saying to me tat " why do i see tat u have no friends in class? and i seldom see any interaction with ur classmates..is everything ok in sch??"ok i shall analyse why my dad asked this qn...in the past my friends would at least call my house to talk abt stuff, but not now, so i guess dad is kinda curious abt wat i am doing in sch...ok this is something tat i expected ever since i returned bac to sch cos "Clicks" have alrady formed and its kinda hard to join in also, so learning to be independent now..however, if it was in the past, i would feel veri sad, but not now cos i have learn to accept this fact..so everyday mixing around with my repeat friends is just enough for me..i reali cant wait for A levels to finish and get out of this stupid sch..
todae national day celebration in sch is super lousy and bored too lah...we had to sit under the sun just for the sports event and of cos i cant tahan the heat lah, so i just run around the sch..meanwhile my classmates asked me to join them in playing cards , the heart attack game and somehow it was quite fun and managed to make me less bored..of cos todae was looking around for idol but somehow i think he is not in sch, the other one was running for some event..haha, gotton a chance to see him run even though it was reali sunny..
past few days have started my revision le..oh man, i reali cant imagine tat i have to go through this nightmare again (reffering to studying for A levels) cos its reali reali veri xin ku..tat's explain why some ppl choose not to retain despite the fact tat they didnt do well..duno why i always fall asleep halfway through studying and i often fall asleep after eating lunch or dinner..and i am kinda worried if i can finish everything at this pace of constant falling asleep..hai~~still i have to endure on cos i dun have a choice now..

~i am feeling old!~

past few days mum was saying tat i will not earn enough to save up for future plans becos by the time i were to finish my uni education, i will be 25 by then and after 2 to 3 have to talk abt marriage..and i haven even build up my career lah unless i marry late..looking bac, i reali think i am ageing veri fast ah..in the past, i look veri childish but now my face look lightly matured now..and its kinda obvious when i stand with my class gers cos all of them look veri young lah..though its onli 2 yrs difference but somehow i look older than them, and maybe can be called a "Da jie"..past few days was just staying bac after sch to study and do homework since i reali need to start revising for exams liao..i cant be tat nuah anymore since this time is the reali last chance for me..so i was decided to dig out the past A levels papers so i will be more familiarize with the qns..i think i wouldnt want to care abt prelims anymore..of cos if i can do well in prelims, then maybe it will boost my confidence, but if fail i will work harder..somehow next week have to come bac sch for self revision but i confirm wont come cos its just wasting my time travelling to sch and bac home just to do my own revision..aiya the sch always impose those stupid crap rules tat we have to follow..so wat i dun want to follow?? i think i can study at home better than in sch leh..sometimes i think the sch onli stand in their position and not us..at times i just feel tat wat they are doing might not be veri benefical for all the students..
yesterday my classmate was asking me if i got eye candy in sch..i told her tat of cos dun have lah, all the guys so young de and not matured at all..but i didnt sae tat i do admire 2 guys in sch..of cos they cant be revealed but somehow todae is the last day of sch before the exams and i finally gotton to see them again =)
next week will reali start piahing like mad..dun its seems like its abit mission impossible to study everything, but still i will try my best lah..i reali hope to finish A levels asap cos i want to start finding a job asap cos i finally now the impt of how great money is..in the past i never felt tat money was impt but after going through this yr, i finally realised it..and yes, i do want to save up for my uni education, i dun wan to be like wat it was this yr, not having the money to go private uni, so bo bian have to retain again..i reali hope tat things will turn out well this yr..

~it came out to be chicken pok~

dad was seriously ill and seriously we have no idea wats wrong with his skin cos his face is so swelled out with red rashes lah..even his collegues in his workplace asked him to take leave to see doctor cos its kind of disgusting..yup, he went to 2 to 3 doctors and no doctor know wat kind of illness is tat and i think they veri lousy lah, and yet we wasted money on consulting them..so my dad was referred to a skin specialist clinic and after tat he said tat it was onli chicken pok..oh man, i cant imagine my dad to get chicken pok at such an old age and i was kinda shocked when my mum told me tat the doctor charged her $!10 for tat..wa lao super ex lah, its just like some day light robbery lah..weekend was pretty tiring..doing piles of homework is kinda tiring and prelims are 2 weeks from now and i haven even started..but weird ah, i dun feel any stress and worry at all as compared to last yr..next week onwards will have study break for prelims le..hey so happy =)

~i didnt know tat NTU discretionary route is so tough~

past few days the sch invitied the NTU sch of biological sci to brief us on some admission matters and the critera for admission this yr..of cos the H1 and H2 subjects doesnt apply to me, but the professor was saying tat one should never try to go the discretionary route if u do veri well, just becos u dun meet the selection critera..of cos i was paying alot of attention to the talk since such selection critera was never made known to ppl...
dad was down with some skin problems and i duno why such thing suddenly happens on him cos i think its a veri serious thing..his face was filled with something like some mosquito bites and it was all red and yes it looks disgusting when u see it..of cos he has went to see the doctor but tat lousy polyclinic doctor duno wat's wrong with him..sigh..hopefully my dad will be ok cos such symtoms are reali worrying..
and i want to complain something..why the sch always want us to do cip when cip is no longer important and moreover i have did my cip last yr le..this time i was asked to sell sweet yohurts and it cost 3 for $1..then i told the teacher tat its quite ex and i doubt ppl will want to buy.,.of cos the teacher rebut me saying tat hello this is a fund raising leh..but i am stating the fact wat..so ex how to ask ppl to buy from u and moreover i think its malu to beg ppl to buy such things..hai~~think i will have to absorb the whole cost liao since i dun have a choice and i doubt ppl will want to buy..

~cute instructor in sch~

todae (wed) was having pe..this time round the pe was fun cos got outside instructor to teach us kanganroo jump..its a sport tat is not veri common in singapore, but somehow i think its quite interesting considering tat i dun like sports at all..moreover i dun have the sporty looks too..its something like roller blading except that the wheels are replace by "Springs"..it kinda hard to walk on the groung cos u hardly can get to balance..but after a while it seems ok le..initally i need to hold onto the wall since i was so scared of falling down..haha..and one of the instructors veri cute leh..he has those tanned look and spoty look too...not to mention tat he got a veri nice smile..haha..i think many gers are memerzied by him, not to deny tat i am one of them..especially the part when everyone have to chance to hold his hand cos otherwise we cant stand up since we are sitting down on the floor..haha, my friend was still saying tat how i wish i could hold his hands longer..yup, still got 2 more chance to see tat cute instructor..the other instructor was kinda fierce lah, he was saying me tat "this is not a date..so no need to hold hands de.."aiya ppl scared of falling down wat, of cos must hold hand mah..
then todae the discipline master was catching gers for their short skirts again..wah, they not sian one meh??whole day onli do bo biao things.anyway i was almost caught for my hair but i pretended to walk veri fast so i have escape from this trouble..and i am wondering why is tat teacher giving me tat look??is it becos i am wearing a pe shirt tat is different from others or he is just looking at my attire..anyway this is damn lame..wah, prelims are like 2 and the half weeks to now..hai~~still got so many things to study and some i still duno yet..sian man, life is always tat screwed up..

~home just seems to be a battle field~

last fri sch ended early somehow so i decided to do some work in sch before going home since i always dun do anything once i reach home..wanted to stay in the library to do my work but since the library was closed for parent meeting session, so bo bian have to find somewhere to do..so i sat alone at the tables outside the Lecture thearte cos 2 of my friends didnt came sch tat day and my the other friend was still having lesson..somehow at tat moment, my eyes unknownly became watery cos i started thinking of the days i spend in yj..indeed it is a tough challenge for me going through life now..and of cos thinking of ur friends who are entering uni this week for orientation makes me even sad when u still have to carry on in sch..sitting there at the table make me recall alot of things..having staying in sch in which evironment is full of strangers to me made things worst cos i find it hard talking to ppl since most of them are strangers to me..hai..cant wait to get out of sch after the A levels..
sat morning went to ntu for some bank matters..tat day saw many graduates wearing their graduation suits standing outside the library..at tat moment i was wondering when will i ever get to wear the suit and the gradutation hat..and of cos it looks cool =) tat day also saw lots of people going in groups, i presume they are having some orientation cos it reali seems to be like one.. last weekend was also one tat is not easy to get over with cos the whole family keeps engaging in quarrel and mum keep saying tat if she reali cant take it then she will go bac indo and stop coming bac to singapore..if she decides to do so, i also wont stop her, neither does my dad wants to stop her as said by him..of cos if u are not happy, u can leave anytime u wish too, anyway i also have enough of ur nonsense..my dad was also saying tat cooking and taking care of the household is her obligations since she is a full time HOUSEWISE, but instead she keeps complaining this and tat until i cant tahan..so she keep finding fault with everyone in the family, first was me, after which was my dad then my brother..she keep scolding me for tat lousy results tat i get and keep saying things tat will insult and demoralized ppl..this is something tat i will expect from her since she always kan sway me..of cos i let her say all she wants since i dun wish to waste my saliva arguing with her..sometimes i reali hope my dad shouldnt have married her cos my dad and her are just two extreme ends..its just not possible between them given their two different characters..hai~~~
todae everyone was so tend up in their gromming cos they say if they cuaght ppl who are not attired properly then have to go for half day suspension..aiya i also dun bother abt such things cos i find it reali bo liao ah..even though i might be at a high risk of getting caught of coloured hair, but i just bo chap and go to sch as it is..the sch is threatening ppl til i also sian of it liao..

~i am kinda worried for my gp grades..~

me and my guy friend was chatting abt relationship for the past few days..its been a long time since this topic struck my mind cos i never reali thought abt it since i felt tat such things should let nature take its course..if such things just dun happen, then just be it loh..to me, its not veri impt at this stage of life..maybe when i reach 25 then i will start worrying abt it (which is still way to go)..haha..
my guy friend was asying tat if i like someone then i should drop some hints to the guy..though i am a ger, he feels tat its still ok cos now gers also jio guys..but i feel likewise becos i am happy with the things now..seeing secretly him from far is just gd enough for me and moreover i also duno if it is a feeling of liking or just pure admiration of his smile..and moreover i feel tat things are confirm not possible between us and i never dreamt of progressing one step ahead cos it will be a fantasy by then..haha..
of cos the next day after we chatted, so qiao i bumped into him...so i turned bac to confirm if it is him cos as usual i am always tat "Blind"..yup, i was rite and he saw me turning bac taking a glance at him..of cos i was kinda pei seh cos i think its quite ovbious and esp the moment we saw each other..but i pretended nothing happened and walked reali slowly so tat he could bypass me..
wed also saw my pri sch classmate on the 243 bus but i guess she cant recognised me cos i was wearing spects at tat time, despite the fact tat she was standing just right in front of me..i was kinda shocked tos ee her with a guy as she was lying on his arms..so i supposed he is her bf?? in the past when i was in pri sch, she gave me the impression tat she is super guai..perhaps as time goes by, many tings and people will change ba...i didnt say hi to her since i haven gotton over the shame of staying in jc for 4 yrs cos its reali easier said than done..and i expected tat she will ask me why am i still in uniform..as i didnt have te courage and i wasnt ready to ans her qn, so i choose to "prentend" tat i didnt saw her..of cos, if tat day i wasnt wearing sch uni, then highly i will call her and say a hi..maybe i am sill trying to escape the issue of ppl questioning me..even i look down on myself, let alone others and i wouldnt be surprised if ppl look down on me and give me tat kind of "look"..
newspaper reported many news abt the stiff competition this yr for the uni intake, depsite the fact tat they have increase the no of intake...i belived tat next yr will be a tough yr too since so many ppl are reapplying next yr and i need to do super well in order to secure a place..and gp is my greatest concern now and i think i am the lousiest in class in terms of gp cos i have just received my results slip and i obtained the 1.9 pecentile which is super super bad...yup, this time i got an extreme F and i expected tat..wah sian, so my teacher was asking me wat happened..of cos the rest of my subjects still ok but tat stupid gp marks spoils the whole result slip..seriously in my opinion i think passing to me in prelims or block test is not gd enough cos i have set higher expectation for myself since i dun wan to get 'c" and going nowhere.at times i reali feel like giving up on gp cos as long as u do well for ur content subjects still can go uni, just tat have to take some extra english module..and i admit tat i spend no single effort on gp cos i just cant be bothered becos its somethings tat cant be mastered within months and i cant even settle my 3 subjects, let alone spending time on gp..prelims are just 3 wks from now and veri fast things will end veri soon..seriously i cherish my times in sch cos this will be reali the last time i will be in sch and i reali enjoy the days as student cos i always get to experience laughter and sometimes those xiao di di and xiao mei mei 's actions reali damn stupid and funny ah..but i reali dun feel like gping for the gradutaion ceremory in oct cos it just reminds me of the sad memories in yj and the principle will be there so confirm she will see me de..at times i feel tat maybe i am still quite lucky..at least i do have my repeat friends to pei me finish this yr journey, actually i am not tat lonely going through this tough journey ahead..weekend will be busy again as usual cos i have to rushed my homework again cos weekend i dun usually do much or i dun do at all..